Oh, did I tell you I’m a super model? Just kidding. (I’m sure I really pulled the wool over your eyes there.) But I did get photographed for my gym’s advertising campaign a little before I had my spell of illness, and I totally forgot to tell you about it. You may see me on a poster kickin’ around town one of these days with my “before” and “after” pictures. I’m not super psyched about the images because I think the make-up makes me look like an aging drag queen. Or maybe I just look like an aging drag queen in real life, but I’m delusional. (Sorry aging drag queens. I do so love you.) Good news is, I don’t think I look like a sea whale, so that’s sort of nice.
So what can I say about the week thus far? Well, I posted my “pointing to the bleachers” blog on, like, a Thursday last week. So naturally how could I stick to my plan over the weekend? I am weak and I have no will power. (Super interesting link on will power, btw.) It’s like I used up all my will power in my 20s when I was depriving myself of food, and I just can’t face the idea of that pain again. Seriously, there was a point in college when I was essentially starving myself and working out in the morning and at night. I was what I now refer to as a “lollipop head.” No boobs. No butt. Just a stick with a giant head. And I was completely psycho.
Of course I am a bit wiser now, I suppose, and I understand that the whole “slow and steady wins the race” thing is more than just a fable. And I have a knowledge about food and nourishment that I didn’t have at that point in my life when I would eat gummy candies rather than a meal because they had no fat!
On another positive note, since the weekend, I’ve filled in myfitnesspal every day. (Yes, you did calculate just three short days in your head, but that’s a lot for me – GAWD!) Yesterday I went over my calorie goal when I ate some chicken noodle soup at 10 pm because I was starving. But at least I ate some relatively benign food out of hunger and not a bag of chips because I was bored. (Imagine me waving my tiny, tiny toothpick sized victory flag.) I’ve also been consistently burning 50 more calories per run on the treadmill because I’ve picked up my pace while sprinting. (I alternate between a run and a sprint every 1 1/2 minutes or so for 30 minutes, in addition to my 30 minutes of weight training.)
As motivation (or torture, I don’t know which) I have placed pictures of Victoria’s Secret models throughout my kitchen to remind myself that I would like to look half as good as one of those girls by this summer so I better stop hoovering the ice cream. While I believe these women set unrealistic standards of beauty for the majority of us, I gotta be honest. I wouldn’t give my left arm to look like one of them. But I would be tempted to remove a pinky toe during my deal with the devil. I mean, it might affect my balance the tiniest bit, but that toe is pretty gnarly anyway. I’m sure I wouldn’t miss it. Okey dokey – that’s all I’ve got for now. Stay tuned.